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BREAKING: Melania Trump Just Voted ‘Most Admired Woman In The World’

Move over, Michelle Obama and Hillary Clinton. Melania Trump has just been voted the Most Admired Woman in the World. The title, which has been held by other great women like Melania, means that her haters can now sit down and show some respect.

Melania is amazing. Not only does she care about kids and gardening, she also knows the way to teach them to be best and not die of an opioid overdose or get bullied in school. Or both.

Melania will fly to Helms Deep in Scotland to accept the award and the $5 million prize that goes with it. When asked what she would do with the prize, which is customarily donated to a good cause, she said:

“I will geev the mowney to the cheeldren. They weel use it to be best.”

Her office clarified later that Melania will donate the entire $5 million to see that underprivileged children will all receive a nice gift this year of Godiva chocolates and Trump brand Brie and Gorgonzola cheeses. Her spokesman said she “wants to give the kids something they wouldn’t experience until “later, when they go to University.”

Schools in poverty-stricken neighborhoods have kindly asked for something they could use, like books. Mrs. Trump, always the philanthropist, told them that while the contract was already signed, she has no problem with them selling their allotment of cheese and chocolate as a fundraiser.

Those schools can sell a single gift box for as much as $400. That’s what we call a generous gift. The schools that don’t have as many low-income children will still receive the same amount of gift-boxes, so the “spirit of the gift” could remain intact and the middle-class youth of America could have some great adulty foods.

This country needs more role modelslike Melania Trump.

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